Are you in a relationship with a narcissist and what to know, “Is a time to go”? you’re going to know, “Should I stay? Or should I go?” .
Signs You Need to Get Out of the Narcissistic Relationship Now
And I have been recognized as one of the top one percent of attorneys in the country, and I’ve written a couple of bestselling books, Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R and Breaking Free: A Step‑By‑Step Divorce Guide.
And I’ve helped millions of people get out of relationships with toxic people, and I teach you step-by-step real guidance on how to negotiate with narcissists and get what you want,
What is Narcissistic
So let’s talk about whether or not you should stay in this relationship or you should go. It’s always a hard question and, as an attorney who practiced in the area of divorce for a very long time, I can tell you that that was a question that was sometimes asked of me by clients, and I would always tell them the same thing.
Unless they were in an abusive situation; obviously if you are being physically abused, you should definitely get out. But barring that, I would always say, “Listen, I’m here to facilitate if that’s what you decide to do. If you decide you want to stay with this person, then that’s a choice that you have to make on your own.” But I do like to give some kind of indications.
Define the Narcissistics
And what I’m going to give you here are some indications that you can look for. Whether you’re in a relationship with a narcissist in a business setting or whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist in a romantic setting, it’s really the same. And the very first red flag, the very first sign that you should probably get out of this relationship, is: How do you feel inside? How is this relationship making you feel?
What’s your gut feeling? I was in a relationship with a couple of narcissists. Thank God, not in a romantic setting. But close enough that they targeted me, victimized me, traumatized me, and it was absolutely horrible. And so I do know how they can make you feel. And if you feel like they’re literally sucking the life out of you, literally like your soul can’t breathe, then that’s time.
Definition of Narcisisstics
Absolutely, you need to start thinking about,”How am I going to get out of this relationship? What are the steps that I need to take?” Because when you are in that situation, it’s not sustainable. You know that eventually you’re going to just go crazy. And if you are getting ready to think about divorcing a narcissist, you should check out my video on things that you should do to prepare to divorce a narcissist. And we’ll make sure to drop a link to that below as well.
But if you are in this relationship and you just are constantly feeling awful, then you know it’s definitely time to go. Another sign it’s time to go is that you do just not trust the person. You’re constantly wondering,
- what are they doing?
- Who are they talking to?
- Who’s on their phone?
- What text messages are going back and forth?
- Where are they?
If it’s in a business setting, do you trust that they are doing what they’re supposed to do in the business? Do you trust that they’re doing the work that they’re supposed to do? Do you trust that the quality of work is the way it’s supposed to be? Do you trust that the money situation is copacetic? Are they collecting money and putting it directly into the account, or do you think that there might be skimming some? Do you trust that they’re not talking about you behind your back to maybe employees, or clients, or people in the community, or other people that you’re dealing with in your business? Do you trust that they have your back?
Are you trusting that they’re not plotting and planning to do things against you or, or away from you? And so if you don’t feel like you trust this person, then that’s definitely another sign. And if you think that it is time to go, give me an,”I’m getting out” in the comments. Right? Another sign that it may be time to go from this relationship is that you feel completely isolated. You feel like there’s no one else to talk to, that no one else understands what you’re dealing with, or maybe that the world is against you because the narcissist in your life has made you believe that everybody else is on their side and it’s only you.
And they’ll even say things like,”You’re the only one that thinks this way,” or,”Everybody else thinks that I’m amazing.” And if you want to know more about what narcissists say, then definitely check out my video called Narcissists’ Favorite Sayings because those are the kinds of things that they say to make you feel isolated, make you feel alone. Make you feel like the world is against you and no one else is going to be around and, if you try to get out of this relationship, you’re going to be the one who looks bad. It’s not going to go well for you.
And so if you’re feeling like that, like you’re feeling isolated and alone and powerless and paralyzed, it’s definitely time to start taking those steps to get out of that relationship. And it’s not always easy. Sometimes you have trauma bonding. Sometimes there’s a lot of psychological damage that has gone on. So don’t beat yourself up over it if you’re not ready right now at this moment. Just start taking little baby steps, even just to take care of yourself. Go to a therapist. Go talk to a clergy person. If you want more help, you can go to online help. I have a partnership with Better Help and they are online therapists, and you can definitely check them out at the link below as well.
And it’s totally confidential and you can choose whatever therapist you want, so you can definitely check them out. Whatever you need to do to just start feeling strong enough, to be able to take the steps. Don’t judge yourself if you’re not ready to take the steps right at this moment; just do little, little things to help you start to heal enough that you feel strong enough to be able to do it. Okay? So that’s another thing that is a sign that it’s time to go, is that you are completely isolated and feeling traumatized and crazy.
Another sign that it’s time for you to get out of this relationship is that you’re starting to think about other relationships, or you’re starting to think about getting out. Maybe you’re starting to think about cheating. Maybe you’re starting to fantasize what it would be like to get out of this relationship. You’re starting to think about, “Well if I got out of this relationship, how would it look? What would I do? Would I want to buy this other partner out?” or, “Would I file for divorce?” and,”If I file for divorce, where am I going to live?
” And you’re starting to think about this process. I mean, just the fact that you’re here, that you’re watching this video, tells me that you’re already starting the process of wondering if it’s time, wondering if a better life is out there. And I can tell you, as a person who has dealt with a couple of narcissists in my own life, and has helped thousands of people either through my divorce practice or my, I have a strategic coaching practice where I help people literally all over the world, and through my slave programs which have helped thousands of people at this point, I can tell you a hundred percent of the people who have gotten out of those relationships are so glad that they did it. They 100 percent feel better.
And I can tell you that it does get better and there is help. And there is support for you. So you can get out if that’s what you decide that you want to do.